“I Have Remembered my Covenant”

“I have heard the groaning of the Israelites, whom the Egyptians are enslaving, and I have remembered my covenant”

Exodus 6:5

Lately I have been doubting God. So far this year it feels as though I have had so many setbacks. One after the other. Eventually, I felt drained, overwhelmed and dispondent. I came to the ultimate conclusion that it might be easier for me if I willed myself into forgetting about God’s promises rather than to keep believing and to keep being disappointed. That’s what happens sometimes in life. Getting knocked back so many times often makes one weary. For me, I somehow decided that believing his promises was turning me into a daydreamer. In a strange way, I believe God wants me to be a dreamer. He wants to me to have the highest expectations of him. To believe he is capable of doing absolutely ANYTHING! You see, during covid, God had laid a few things on my heart. For one he placed it in my heart to start a blog. That was 3 years ago. I have felt lately that firstly, I have hardly done much blogging mainly because life often gets in the way and alot of the time I struggle with my mental health which makes it hard for me to do even the things that I love to do including blogging. Because of this, at times I feel as though this blogging thing may not work because I’m simply not blogging as much as I should and therefore how could I possibly make some kind of living through blogging?? When I look at people who are successful bloggers its easy to think they have it all together, however everyone’s road to success looks different to the next person. For me, perhaps my road to success is through life’s trials and tribulations. My mental health has had what feels like a detrimental effect to all the things that I believe I am called to do in the this world, but God sees it as a way to fulfill my purpose in life. It feels hard to understand at times. I’m still not fully sure how this can be. How can use what feels like a burden in my life to fulfill his purpose for me? Often times it feels as though it gets in the way of everything so I’m not quite sure how it works or what God’s plan is at this point in time. At times however there are moments where it comes close to making sense like right now as I’m finally able to open my computer and type and at other times it makes absolutely no sense. As frustrating as it is, it’s allowing me to lean on God for everything. He supplies enough for each day that comes.

God never forgets his promises. I may have to keep reminding myself of this. Just as God had to keep reminding Moses of the covenant he had made to his people. Even Moses was doubting God! In some ways knowing this makes me feel a little better. I need to keep walking with God even in the doubts and the fears. Even when it looks like things are taking a turn in a different direction and everything seems a little confusing. I know that when Moses questioned God because things were turning even more sour after he confronted Pharoah to let God’s people go, God in his grace made a point to keep reminding Moses of all the promises he had made to the Israelites. Discouragement is a part of the journey but it helps me to trust in God along the way. I know that as I continue my journey with him, my faith will become a little stronger each time I face a challenge. Perhaps one day I will look back in awe and wonder at how God has worked in my life.

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